rhymes with "ouble enetration"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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