so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
