he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
