We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
