mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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