The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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