I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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