I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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