The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
