she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
