Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
