So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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