Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
