Your tits are I can't wait for
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just google imaged poop.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
