the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
