On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
