I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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