Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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