worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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