there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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