Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
