Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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