I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
