I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
