If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
