the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
