Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
