I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
