My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize