Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
