FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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