I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
