I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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