It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
