I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
