How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
