i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
