i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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