it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
