I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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