It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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