I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
