New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
