she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
