He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
