She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
