I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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