Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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