I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
