im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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