how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
