i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
