Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize