im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He has the fingertips of a God
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