I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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