You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
