Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
