you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
