did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You've changed since you got that strap on
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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