with your own penis?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
