so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No stitches, just platelets and will power
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize