Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
