he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
