Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
